Compulsive Creativity

I suffer from compulsive creativity. Whatever situation I find myself in, I quickly and inevitably end up looking for ways to be creative, ways to shape the world around me so that it reflects how I feel or how I would like to feel. This has some good and bad consequences.

One good thing is that it makes it hard for me to be a passive consumer of commodities, both literally and metaphorically. I think that’s why I don’t really like watching movies. I often find it hard to get “into” movies, because watching them is so passive. I would prefer if I was able to get involved in the story as it unfolds and make decisions - not watch others make them for me. I reckon this is good because it means I don’t waste any time watching TV or movies and therefore I have more time for doing real stuff, like writing songs for example.

Another good thing about my compulsive creativity is that it keeps me motivated to do new things, to learn and to grow. Take music for example. I love listening to music and the more I listen the more it makes me want to play and write new songs. That’s my urge to create at work again...

However, being a compulsive creator does not only have positive aspects. For instance, while I have tons of ideas for new songs it often takes quite a lot of effort to get songs finished. (I would rather be experimenting with new ideas than doing the work it takes to finish the ones I already have).

Also I think creativity can become a way of escaping, perhaps of avoiding the things we ought to be facing in life. I will always prefer to indulge in spontaneous creativity (i.e. lock myself up alone in my room and write songs) rather than face the technical challenges of cleaning the dishes, building a fan base for my band or starting a business. But it seems like unless I force myself to do these things I won’t get very far in achieving what I want in life.

On the other hand, if I were to deny myself the pleasure of being creative I would not write any songs and would probably get pretty unhappy and depressed. It seems like for me life is all about achieving a healthy balance between my creative / impulsive nature and the part of me that is good at organizing, planning and getting things done.

Thanks for reading !

Robin